Return to Innocence

13-05-2008

Return to innocence - Reminds of you of that song by Enigma doesnt it? My first impression of the video of this song was just a nicley shot movie with no significant meaning. The video begins with a dead grandpa returning to his life and moves backwards through his life showing his marriage, his love, his mischiefs as a kid, his first haircut all the way till his actual birth. When I saw this video for the first time I was unmoved. It was just something that I watched without any interest. Maybe then I had not lost enough of my innocence to understand that returning to innocence wasnt all that easy.

Today evening I was happy to be back in the cab after doing a complete time killing exercise in the office post lunch. We the cabbies (Cabmates, but the word cabbies was too cool to resist) have this habit of talking, arguing, discussing about some really strange topics which is of course not a very uncommon habbit. These topics occupy a huge domain right from politics, cricket, movies to some very situational topics like how our cab driver would overtake the bus next to us or how a traffic signal has some of the sign boards with grossly misspelt words and so on...

During one such routine discussions we started laughing out so loud that I had tears in my eyes for the next 5 minutes or so. That is when I remembered a movie that I had recently seen - The Bucket List. The Bucket List in the movie is about the list of things that he should do before kicking the bucket. One of them says "laugh till I cry". Today's laughter was about one such thing.

I remember when I was a kid on an innumerable such situations I had laughed out so loud that any onlooker could easily mistake that I was crying. And I think this holds true with most of the people. But when I suddenly remembered "The Bucket List", I started recounting back when was the last time, that I had laughed out so loud. There was one such occasion during the last week. And I dont even remember the one before that. But If I go down the memory lane to the College days, I remember every such occurence.

Why does it happen this way, that as we grow older, we tend to laugh less often? I asked the same question to Vikky, one of the cabbies and he says it is due to the gradual loss of innocence. Back in the school days every smallest of happenings could bring uncontrollable laughter. Then the college days, the frequesncy had gradually reduced. Those days I used to think if I were to earn some good money some day, I would have more fun. But that looks like a stupid mirage today. Whatever the reason is, but I am gradually losing the innocence and losing my happiness.

Finally I have been able to understand the importance of return to innocence. It indeed is a tough and a special journey returning to those good old days when there was no control over the money I could save but at the same time there was no control over the fun I had either, the trade off between money and fun here is perfectly acceptable. I am all set to start my journey backwards, but again the time is ticking and holding me back. It says its not going to wait for anyone, it is running a race with a speed which is comparable only to the speed of light.

Today my race could be with the time in the same direction. But I have no doubts whatsoever that I would win these races of opposite directions some day at the same time. Dont forget to join me in this journey.